I Love Too Much and I'm Okay

I saw her in my dreams before we met.

Our bodies connected with the joy similar to those last two puzzle pieces coming together to complete the picture, snapping into place sealing the image.

With an exhalation, hiding our tears of joy, we at once released all the sadness of bending and contorting to others views and could be truly known, seen, heard, held...if only for a moment.

She was juicy in every sense of the word, displacing immense rays of light too blinding for the untrained eye, yet cosmically attractive. With back arched into me, hair cascading to one side, my hand maneuvered her neck to place that one tender reserved kiss held inside for what felt like an eternity.

With tight grip and lose tension, we moved into the inner most sensations of those untouchable places. She was like kissing a lightning bolt, the energy just too much for either of us to dissipate quick enough, explosion was inevitable.

Like all of us, we’re just mirroring back to each other the dualistic lights and shadows we carry. The glory hides behind the fear of an eye holding tears. The sweetness fades when we over-consume and the bitterness of familiarity removes the savory sensuality of your lovers touch.

Her words pierced my heart, and the blood of vulnerability ran clear to a transparent authenticity where I saw myself in ways foreign.

Things slip in between the one-ness we create, it just happens. The entropy of time, our own heaviness of self creates a constant magnet and the best we can do is get better at polarizing towards each other. Sometimes, it’s as simple as flipping the magnet so we re-attach and with unstoppable force, we seal our love once again.

If left unattended, the pain of rust sets in and we lose our independent power, enmeshed, we become unattractive.

So we divorce our love in conflict with hopes to reunite, after our magnet is repositioned to charge itself and be powerful once again.

I reached, she pulled away. I pulled, and she reached beyond. Together we danced through a million micro emotions and sensations and the backgrounds of limitations caused a mural of story we just couldn’t escape, it was too big.

I would have missed her had we never met. She was a flying star with wings I absorbed in to my soul and allowed her to carry me to new places within myself. 

In the end, I looked left and right in bewilderment and realized that it wasn’t the end, only the end of the beginning.

I do love too much and I’m okay.

~Robin