If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it. (Matthew 16:24-25)
Do you feel a certain unidentifiable calling on your spirit?
Does it lead to a feeling of condemnation that you later realize is humility and crucifixion of yourself?
Frustration runs deep as you watch good people allowed good things with blessing and permission, yet you’re restricted to a life of obedience from following the other Christians down the same seemingly good paths.
Compare and compete seems to be the theme of the church. We are religious, industrious to make the quotas, scheming to carry out our good plans for the effectiveness of Christ. Your good intentions, however, remain in the shadows as attempts to launch your dreams are met with failure and rebuke from God that drives you to complete penitence.
The applause is heard about others work, successes and accomplishments, but the Holy Spirit holds you back from accepting even one accolade.
The longing for the praise of men makes you despise yourself and the Lords leads you into deep mortification that makes even your best work seem filthy.
Money is accumulated into bigger barns. Luxuries are enjoyed. Legacies are being built all around but God supplies you only for this one day with the instructions to return the following morning for that days rations.
Why this helpless dependence on Him for a treasury that can’t be seen?
Honor is bestowed to others for their good deeds, yet you’re hidden in the shade of obscurity. He allows others to be great, yet you are small. All they do seems to be effortless, yet you work tirelessly without knowing what the outcome will be.
To teach you the message of the Cross and humility, He will let others get the credit for the work which you have done and the cloak of His nature will cover you. The Holy Spirit will be on a strict watch, and with a jealous love, will rebuke you for careless words and feelings, for wasting your time, all for which other Christians never seem distressed over.
So make up your mind that God is infinite and sovereign, having the right to do as He pleases with His own, not explaining the things which may puzzle your reason in His dealings.
If you absolutely sell yourself to be His slave, He will wrap you up in a jealous love and let other people say and do many things that you cannot. You are to deal directly with the Holy Spirit, He is to have the privilege of tying your tongue or chaining your hand or closing your eyes in ways which others are not dealt with.
Know this great secret of the Kingdom: When you are so completely possessed with the Living God that you are, in your secret heart, pleased and delighted over this peculiar, personal, private, jealous guardianship and management of the Holy Spirit over your life, you will have found the vestibule of heaven, the high calling of God.