Updated: Dec 11, 2019
It’s time to say goodbye to you, my toxic lover.
Our journey was one of toxic cycles and endless Spats in the name of a life you convinced me was to Be filled with pain and torment as a thing called normal.
Your deviancy was like a fog rolling in from the bay, Resting fully upon my bones, suffocating my lungs yet Just unkind enough to stay out of grasp to watch me choke.
You taunted my resolve with hand resting upon the pistol, That lonely night I turned to you, losing myself in the Intoxication of your misery, your narcissism of dormant dreams.
You are still my longest lover and greatest teacher, With the dysfunction of an old habit and the toss of a Carnival coin to an endless game, here we find ourselves.
What a false companion you have been and yet, in some way Still not yet understood, I will miss your company and eagerness To faithfully find you way to my side, ready, waiting, wanting.
Oh how jealous you were, pervasive among other women that Even glanced my way, your deceit unraveled my masculinity one Moment only to encapsulate me behind the walls of intimacy the next.
They never say me, only an array of entertaining masks like a Theater play, oh how those girls were amused, yet missed my Beauty over and over, leaving me to turn back to your harlotry, once again.
I hated you. I wanted to kill you.
My jaw would tighten in bold Outrage to your cynical taunting, grabbing a knife in rebellion to Slay you once and for all, forever relinquishing your sinister grip.
Just then, you would vanish, leaving me with hints of fragrant joy, Only to creep down the corridors of shadows and find your treacherous Dealings back in the solid foundations, eroding my every move.
My manhood would redeem itself, cast upon the rocks of your shores, Shipwrecked, I would crawl from the devastation to find the glory of Sand between my tired hands, calloused from the shadowboxing games.
It’s time. This time, right now. A crown has been prepared and it is Me that is binding you in the spectacular unveiling of a prince that Almost died so many, many times in the caves of silent despair.
I am a KING now. I have the power to cast you forever shackled In the real estate of dungeons I control, placing the guards of Boundaries on every corner of my domain, insuring your misery.
My determined resolve to cast you into the pit of misery is only Outmatched with a Kingly Compassion, a sense of both duty and Greatness creating no need for such acts of unadulterated power.
There is only one final act in this play you’ve created, the ultimate In the closing of dramas. This one I will write and with the crowd On edge, they will watch me as I rise to be counted, I will prevail.
In expectation of your deserved sentence of death, executed in grand Display among the villagers, they will gasp, not in the horror of your Beheading, no not in 40 lashes less one or even a stake driven.
I will take the most powerful journey in these 44 years, 527 months, 16,060 days and seconds robbed from your merciless bounty to Prevent my knighting into a life that God ordained as good…pure.
You will be met with mercy. You will be set loose, to dissipate into The nothingness in which you came forth and your rule will turn to The ashes creating the beauty of the Phoenix to rise, to be counted.
I was not born from you. You are not me. You are the separation of My calling, the formidable grounds of chisels and hammers that sculpted The masculine beauty before you, and now it’s your turn to bow.
I turn you loose, my false comforter, my lover … my greatest teacher.
You are free to leave my kingdom.