The way we feel dismantled in life, then carefully reassembled.
When you're feeling as though life is sweeping you off your feet from knees buckling, often the only thing left to do is accept the fall before you and collapse in a humility before God to pray, no that's not it, BE with yourself, maybe for the first time, with the trapped beauty about to explode from your chest.
But in a metric driven world that values go, become, achieve and discover, how do we learn the art of Human Being-ness?
At the edge of a 20 year battle with depression and debilitating thoughts, I was just done. Fed up! Like so many others, I wanted to be set free and therefore traveled into the perceived depravity of the soul to find the wild and fierce nature in the duality of being both a warrior, and a lover.
Have you too been at this place of done-ness? The place where change is more inevitable than death perceivable?
Welcome to survival! We are SO used to living without, struggling along and surviving that we learn this state as a new normal when in fact, this is the thief of abundant living.
"No more!", you powerfully exclaim in bold proclamation to the ways no longer needed. Feet adequately cleaned from the collected dust of stillness, you'll venture into the adventure of your very nature of life.
We know we were born as living cells of a loving universe, punching in to life screaming and fighting for our first breath, comforted in the unity with our first impression of mother, suckling life into our senses, so we return, return to that special place where it all began.
But somehow it went eschew, bombarded with adulthood and all the required daily demands of drudge. We left our perfect true nature.
Before, we knew nothing of pain, fear and the stagnation of false identities. We knew nothing of hatred, bigotry, racism and prejudices. We knew nothing other than the pure, unadulterated liberation of the fruit of the perfect spirit. Love, joy, peace, goodness, kindness, gentleness and self control...they are descriptions that describe you, not metrics to achieve or rights of behavior bestowed upon the righteous.
So we turned to learn. But our education was that of falseness, predisposed by imperfect parental dispositions, projected onto us all in the name of perverting what was intended to keep us safe.
"God Damn you!" we yelled, brows furrowed with fists pumped to the heavens. "Oh but wait, it wasn't you at all was it God?" we realized in disillusionment.
Broke and humbled we muttered, "I'm so sorry, church told me differently. I lost my way somewhere along these deformed and treacherous trails formed by others that told me I must travel these same roads just to find you, to find me. In reality, it was their path I followed and must backtrack, relying on the subtle landmarks of the soul signature to arrive. Arrive, what a concept when all life seems to be a constant journey to a destination nobody has defined."
The dream of freedom, of returning to that child nature is closer as your awareness heightens and accept and surrender to the task before you.
So in this we get dismantled. When all is gone, when you're alone with your thoughts, boiled in the heat of refinement and the dross of the lower self skimmed away, there you will be.
In nothingness, you find something, one thing, that matters and instills that purpose. The true you will see the true-ness in others, for the first time, you'll look upon each other with glorious favor.
Relationships heighten and elegantly intertwine from the pain of separation back into the oneness of us all. We will delight in the effervescent glow of perfection, the way we sprung from the womb that brought us gently along to appear in this human form.
Slowly, with reverence and reserve, we get reassembled. And so it begins again. Raw and exposed, vulnerable and yet empowered, you will move forward in the dreams of that perfect soul you were created to be.
The essence of your God-like divinity will expand and unfold in such exuberance the Angels will sing, the streets will clear and the heavens expand to exalt you with a triumphant sound for certainly, a child has returned to their true nature.
Ah, you can almost hear your heart surge over the glory of feeling once again, like "you".
Dismantled and Reassembled. It's a one-two sucker punch to the gut at times that will fold you over and heave your innards on to the cold concrete from the pain of despair. Your breath will leave your lungs, all will go dark and surely death is upon you.
Just then, an inhalation will consume your body, mind will surrender, bones will creak and heart will expand and there, with dark bruises and all, tears still wet in your eyes, and blood from the battle moist on your lips to peacefully say, "I. Am. Free."
Speak to your audience from this state.
Write your books with this energy.
Coach your clients from this grounded space.
Cherish your lover with this intensity.
Worship your god with this reverence.
Guide your children with this wisdom.
You. Are free ... right now. here.