The way we feel dismantled in life, then carefully reassembled.
When you're feeling as though life is sweeping you off your feet from knees buckling, often the only thing left to do is accept the fall before you and collapse in a humility before God to pray, no that's not it, BE with yourself, maybe for the first time, with the trapped beauty about to explode from your chest.
But in a metric driven world that values go, become, achieve and discover, how do we learn the art of Human Being-ness?
At the edge of a 20 year battle with depression and debilitating thoughts, I was just done. Fed up! Like so many others, I wanted to be set free and therefore traveled into the perceived depravity of the soul to find the wild and fierce nature in the duality of being both a warrior, and a lover.
Have you too been at this place of done-ness? The place where change is more inevitable than death perceivable?
Welcome to survival! We are SO used to living without, struggling along and surviving that we learn this state as a new normal when in fact, this is the thief of abundant living.
"No more!", you powerfully exclaim in bold proclamation to the ways no longer needed. Feet adequately cleaned from the collected dust of stillness, you'll venture into the adventure of your very nature of life.
We know we were born as living cells of a loving universe, punching in to life screaming and fighting for our first breath, comforted in the unity with our first impression of mother, suckling life into our senses, so we return, return to that special place where it all began.
But somehow it went eschew, bombarded with adulthood and all the required daily demands of drudge. We left our perfect true nature.
Before, we knew nothing of pain, fear and the stagnation of false identities. We knew nothing of hatred, bigotry, racism and prejudices. We knew nothing other than the pure, unadulterated liberation of the fruit of the perfect spirit. Love, joy, peace, goodness, kindness, gentleness and self control...they are descriptions that describe you, not metrics to achieve or rights of behavior bestowed upon the righteous.
So we turned to learn. But our education was that of falseness, predisposed by imperfect parental dispositions, projected onto us all in the name of perverting what was intended to keep us safe.
"God Damn you!" we yelled, brows furrowed with fists pumped to the heavens. "Oh but wait, it wasn't you at all was it God?" we realized in disillusionment.
Broke and humbled we muttered, "I'm so sorry, church told me differently. I lost my way somewhere along these deformed and treacherous trails formed by others that told me I must travel these same roads j