In literally hundreds of interviews with men and women, I'm astonished at the erosion of the dominant masculine spirit over the years.
Men are under great pressure to form themselves into something of meaning and define who they are. Society has changed quickly over the last 50 years demanding the man to be more than his programming was equipped for.
Add in the overall domestication of men and that primal spirit not only dissipates, but it's placed in cages to encourage good behavior that is nothing short of numbing his senses, with booze, porn or food enticing him to come escape the prison.
There is much discussion about the demasculinization of the modern man, much of it finger pointing and debate leading us nowhere, but we all feel it. Men are wandering aimlessly, struggling to know who they are and where they exist. While I champion the female evolution as a protective advocate, more and more women are taking on the roles of leaders once held by men.
I myself have struggled with my own definitions and the natural breaking free from the impositions of others to write this piece below in 2007.
Where is the man? That will labor & toil and come short again & again. Only to be defeated yet stand tall amongst weak-hearted men.
Where is the man? That will love strong, holding his values close and be steadfast bold & true. He is hopeful, full of faith and the symbol of integrity in the skys he flew.
Where is the man? The warrior heart remains valiant even though dormant and cold. His temptation & lusts will only be conquered if he lives his destiny to be told.
Where is the man? With a heart of a lion, the firm stare that makes others shake. Yet kind & with mercy, he leads others with a steady hand that's not on the take.
Where is the man? We read stories of strength and honor, to which we aspire. Only to give up on the race he runs, his soul growing tired.
Where is the man? A prince among scoundrels, curing all the infractions. He can only be a prince if there are others worth his actions
Old men, fathers, pastors..anyone who will listen, show us how to stand. Teach us so that nobody will ever look at us & say, "where is the man?" ~08/10/07
So what is the answer, we ask? In my opinion: Radical transformation from a personal awakening journey or experience(s).
Diving deep into your beautiful center we all have where we find the oneness in all other life forms. Saint John, a 16th century poet and Roman Catholic mystic called it, "The dark night of the soul". Christian's for years have called it "Spiritual Dryness."
Other terms are:
Kenosis - the 'self-emptying' of one's own will and becoming entirely receptive to God's divine will.
Nirvana - In the Buddhist context nirvana refers to the imperturbable stillness of mind after the fires of desire, aversion, and delusion have been finally extinguished.
Whatever you want to call it, and whichever religious or spiritual practice you choose to assist in your awakening really doesn't matter for the purpose of finding your masculinity. Just find it and fast!
In Native American cultures, the chiefs and tribal elders held grand celebrations and rituals for children that were becoming men. The Right of Passage into socialization that marked one person's transition from one status to another is an event that just isn't valued in our modern culture.
The closest we seem to get to it is the Jewish Bar Mitzvah and the Christian Baptism. But are these awakening experiences...or simply religious events that indoctrinate the individual into the pre-established thinking of the religious culture?
The simple act of a father intentionally "giving his blessing" to his child can be immensely profound on the child's identity in the world.
Men, awaken into your unique and divine purpose on this earth. Don't stop, rest or distract yourself with the world's pleasantries until you do.
Bear your soul, cry your tears, dive deep into an unexplainable beauty that lives inside your core that's been covered over by thousands and thousands of years of primal hard and software that was there to keep us safe from threats that just don't exist any more.
Become the man you were created/evolved to be in this moment in time and you'll experience an untold freedom where the universe makes sense and you'll take your place in history.
I love you.