Where have you been, child? You think you've been by my side all these years yet you've only seen me in your preconceived notions of my presence, the deepness of me you've missed and you've seen nothing but a mere shadow.
You KNOW that I did all these things for you, that I left my perfect home, left the unity of the other 2 that sustains, traveled where you have traveled, walking in your footsteps so that I may fully experience YOUR unique journey, yet you accept me in your head knowledge but reject me in your life of choices.
You've broken my heart, but mostly, I miss you...these mortal words fall short to convey the depth of my being. I wish you could see what I see when I look upon your beauty, the magnificence of your spirit and power of your abilities. I've been calling you for so long, yet your only response is with the flippant reply of whatever media is deemed popular at the moment. How my heart longs for you to just sit with me, how I've waited for you to choose me. You see, my dear...you must choose.
Sure, I'll wait, but I can't force you as I would be breaking the ultimate definition of love I have planned for you. Have you ever loved something fearlessly, knowing nothing of rejection? No, everyone has always loved you in return even if they hurt you in the end...at least to YOUR definition of love, so you've never experienced a transcendent state where 2 are one in spirit.
You've been entranced by only shadows of what I really am. You've listened to others and misread my whisperings in your ear as something you should DO, versus just listening to me, allowing us to be in the harmony of relationship where we can just BE. Hours I've pleaded my partner of the Holy Spirit to intercede in your calling, to break the devil's chains that bind you so that my voice may slip through and together, we can do the will of the great One.
I've listened to the crying out of your heart from the pain inflicted by the infidelities of the ones you've chosen to do life with. I've seen your beautiful heart harden by the reflection of their discord, and then empower your flesh through manipulation, control and pride. The very things that were allowed to happen to you were meant to bring you closer to me in your life journey....instead you've turned them to a false testimony of what YOU did for yourself. How I hurt that you think you must "clean yourself up" by your own efforts. Don't you know I've already done that for you?
My wrath against your willful sin is only held back by the grace that pours out of my being, so you'll never experience what you deserve as a mere human because I have so much for you in your eternal spiritual state yet to be disbursed. You hurt from the ones that have let you down and abandoned their positions.
Am I any less that those other people that have managed to dazzle you with their distractions? When you unite with another, repeatedly choose your rebellious way over mine...does it not hurt me any the less? Take your pain, magnify it through the ages and this is the response you've given to me for my endless grace, mercy and love. You've taken my free gift, when will you honor it the way it was intended?
Feeble words! They hail in comparison to the grand communication I have for you that is unspoken, the deep communication that exists in our spirit versus all the mind-numbing chatter that fills the room from your endless seeking.
Lastly, in regard to your "gifts": They, as you would call them, are not what you think! You've miss-used much of them and self-centered gain and attention was never their intended purpose. We will have to speak more of that later as this matter needs to be reconciled in repentance before we can move forward. I'll assure you, you're acting in YOUR power (the evil spirit of the world)...not mine. Do not give me the credit for your acts.
Until then, know that I want to invite you to what I like to call, "The Dance"; the perfect transcendent state of serving, love, acceptance and a definition of relationship that you've never experienced. You will find me when you do so with all your heart. I don't NEED your obedience to the boundaries we agreed to as I'm not controlled by those rules; I simply can draw closer to you in my perfect state if your obedience is the answer to our love and relationship together.
When you love me, you'll call upon me...and I will answer in a splendor of magnificence that will transcend all human understanding.
Your…lover to your heart, keeper of your spirit and protector to the soul you embody,
Date: July 29, 2009